The Facial Fiasco at Kings Outlook!

Trust me - I was forced into this.....

It all started when I went  to “Kings Outlook”, my saloon for a haircut that evening and while I waited for my turn I saw all four chairs were occupied by men rendered unrecognizable due to a white paste on their faces… to top it, they looked quite relaxed…. That is when I asked Harish”anna”(Owner of the saloon & the best barber at his place) what was FACIAL thing all about ………. He told me that getting a facial done is catching up in men and many of his regular customers are getting one done every fortnight, as it is good to get rid the dead cells and the person feels rejuvenated. In the same breath, he also  shared that I needed one. ….

Now, that I have done it once, I know that facials come in various categories – Diamond, Gold, Silver, Herbal and the Regular……….and the differentiator being the quality of the facial products used. The process involves several rounds of pastes, creams massaged into your face by ugly men with soft hands, who have the faint Pan gutka breath: ”Our barbers “cum stylists (now beauticians??).

Barbers are quite interesting… everyone I have met so far is a character. Most of them are silent throughout the whole process, while  some are as irritating as a house mouse. They will inevitably start the conversation with the Indian cricket teams performance in the last series or match.. If we had won it , then its about the stand out performance of a player and if we were smeared, then it is the endless talk on how the players are rigging the games and that everybody except Tendulkar is involved (he cant be! – Remember, He is GOD). . .

The barbers also do talk stories about their customers, funny incidents at work, the latest gossip in town, updates on the politics of the area, and  will even try to guess your salary! You hardly hear them talking about their village, their family, what they did last night in their bachelor pads or anything that is personal ….

This concludes that saloons are by far the best place for anybody to share anything and Barbers by far are the best resources of consistent and accurate information of what’s happening around ….

In fact Journo’s should spend more time getting their moustaches trimmed in 2 tier saloons than waiting outside some celebrities/netas office for hours to bag an interview … They will end up with more leads than ever!

As a kid I always wondered, how do our barbers get their hair cut? Do they do it themselves or do they go to their favorite saloon to get one done.. I still don’t know the answer, but I know one thing for sure, Harishanna has the worst hairdo in town…. It is plain out ugly!!.Of course he is the owner, and the most talented of the lot, he is thin and tall with curly hair and a thin wide mouth. He is always polite and silent for most of the time. This place has 2 more of them –The one called “Jaga” – long hair oiled heavily and combed backwards like most of the anti-heroes in sleazy Kannada movies, has the habit of leaving his shirt unbuttoned at the top to show of the very thick gold rope chain (which I later came to know is not real)… he is short and stocky and almost always wears a silk shirt with heavy patterns/prints on it. , Then we have the funniest of them all– “Guru”– he is tiny and thin, and wears spectacles. When I asked him what the power of his glasses was, he reluctantly disclosed in a very hushed voice that there is no power, it just for “iShtyle”…..  he is more worried about his spike than the outcome of the haircut he is giving.

I have been a regular to this saloon “Kings Outlook” (yes, that’s right!) since the time it has opened. Even though it was designed as a unisex saloon, I have never ever set my eyes on a single female customer till date except for the parlor girls who usually spend their time sitting outside swatting flies and talking for hours excitedly about something in tulu…. I don’t think this place will click with the ladies ever….

In any case, I wish this establishment all the best…

Next time I plan to get myself a pedicure!

Peace

Subbu