Chandoosgiri with the retired Brahmin banker!

When I was in school, the 2 most used words were “Byavarshi” (which is obviously an abuse) and “Chandoos” which was our equivalent to “Popat”. It was simply a term used to refer to someone who "made a fool outta  himself/herself”  or “goofed-up“

Even though we did not notice then, “Chandoosgiri” was a huge phenomenon and all my bum chums were subject matter experts.

Let me give you a few examples-

1.       You offer your hand to someone to shake it and the person does not notice (or take it) – What a chandoos!

2.       You wait outside school to talk to the new chick and she does not even look your way– chandoos.

3.       You are riding … you see a known face coming towards you… you nod/wave…. Get no response -  Chandoos!

4.       You  score in a sport & run with your hand rasied for a high-five….. nobody gives you any – CHANDOOS!.... (people notice the chandoos and forget you scored)

I don’t know about my chaddi friends, I still use the word and have been at the receving end in Chandoosland ever since I remember….. In fact I get chandoosed everyday….

But nothing can beat the what happened last month….

I spent half an hour speaking to a stranger at my place assuming he was my fathers ex-colleague (dad was not home) only to learn later that he was looking for a “Hebbar” with the same first name…. What could I do…. He just asked if this was Ramakrishna’s residence…..

In any case in that half an hour and a cup of coffee later, I came to know that this was a courtesy visit as he was in the neighborhood …….I only realized that he was at the wrong place when he praised my fathers dedication to work in the 80’s as an officer in the Therthahalli branch of Syndicate Bank where he met him for the first time, how they enjoyed Annavaru’s movies etc.

To confirm the confusion, he said he was happy that my father realized his dream of putting me through medical college …… I politely broke the information that my father was never working for a Bank and I was not a Doctor (I was also imagining myself walking thro the corridors of KMC with a busy look , dressed in formals with an Apron on , a stethoscope dangling from its pocket and a name tag that read “Dr”. Subramanya R K, M.B.B.S., F.R.C.S. -  sounded good…).

 You should have seen his white Brahmin face turn a dark shade of pink when he realized that he was at the wrong house…….He apologized profusely and went about explaining that this happened due to fact that he never met Mr. Hebbar over the last 15 odd years and could not make it for the house-warming ceremony, hence did not know what exactly he should have expected ………. I cooled him down we went about trying to trace the Original “RKs” residence.  … …. Once I saw his maruti 800 disappear around the bend, I walked back realizing that this man had spoken continually about his family, his sons, his house and future plans….

From what he shared I recollect him saying that after retirement he became an agent for a insurance company and offered me future consultancy, that both his sons are settled in the U.S. working for software companies  - Oracle and cant recollect the name of the 2^nd one,

that there is a serious male to female ratio difference in the Brahmin community,

that his elder son was earning 30 Lacs per annum, and that he is using the money to buy plots of land  and build houses, in and around udupi, which he plans to rent out ,

that he still wears a sandak chappal and believes in leading a simple lifestyle in psite of the sudden spike in income,

that BJP does not deserve another chance to rule the state,

that the roads and weather is not what it used to be,

that he planned a south India temple tour with family and got a group discount after several days of bargaining with a popular touring agency,

that his BP is under control but his sugar level is off the chart ……

….. another banker’s dream was realized……

A wife who can cook tasty sarru……… children bought up under the strictest of environments, where good grades was the only discussion b/w father and son…. Both sons having to wear clothes with similar prints through their school lives….. the pressure on the kids to  bag big paying offers during placement at college….. a calm retired life where most of the time is spent with other retired bank employees comparing their kids pay package…….the endless search for a suitable match leading to the usual south Indian wedding (the criteria’s are that the girl should be fair, educated, good looking, with a decent background and dumb enough to let her hubby and in-laws take charge of her life)……Was Mr. Hebbar’s kids settled in the US as well?

Not sure who was Chandoos here…

Subbu